Alumni Association Home > Past Issues > 2008 > May-June 2008	Print View

With the approach of May each year, I feel the hot breath of a herd of new graduates on my neck. I don’t dare look over my shoulder; I know that each one is young, optimistic, and hungry to take my job. How can I compete? I’ve tried coloring my hair and shopping at thrift stores, but I lose sleep fearing I’ll thoughtlessly say the word mimeograph in a meeting, bringing the discussion to a halt and revealing that I’ve been around a little too long. The going-away party will soon follow. I’ll pack my Rolodex and Walkman in a box and ask my replacement to dispatch the rest of my belongings via one of those horseless carriages.

A few years ago, a friend sent me an invitation. “Join my network!” her e-mail screamed. I called her and asked what this network thing was and whether it was secure. Looking to change careers, my friend had employed an online tool to reconnect with former colleagues and make new connections through them, one of whom might lead her to the perfect job.

I decided to swirl my big toe in these unknown waters. Maybe doing so would be safer than not. After all, as skeptical as I was of the Y2K panic, I did stash a few days’ supply of water and chocolate in the pantry, just in case. So, I joined up and supplied the necessary information.

Every couple of months, then weeks, more “Join my network!” e-mails arrived from current and former colleagues. Two were from people I was certain erred in wanting to link to me. Didn’t she despise me? Didn’t he realize he should network up and not down? It evoked the second grade, when we were required to bring valentines for every class member, even the kids we didn’t think much of. A subtle lesson in equality.

Just as in my palpable life, I had yet to extend an invitation to anyone else; I tend to wait to be asked first. Besides, even without nurturing, my little web appeared to be expanding faster than a patch of creeping Charlie. One day I logged on to view my list of connections and saw that it had grown to 12. That’s a good start, I thought. Then I clicked on the names in my burgeoning circle and saw that one had 56 contacts, another 87, and the one who had first invited me to join had 122.

I flushed. What if someone saw that I had 12 measly contacts? What a loser! Worse, I searched the site and found a number of people I knew who hadn’t bothered to connect to me.

It evoked junior high, when a school club took orders for Valentine’s Day carnations. The flowers were delivered during homeroom, and for the rest of the day the most popular girl walked the halls cradling her red bouquet like she was Miss America. An overt lesson in reality.

It was decision-making time. Should I take a week of vacation to lard my network? Should I save face and quietly snuff out my listing?

According to Megan Hustad (B.A. ’97), such career-related quandaries are timeless. She’s the author of How to Be Useful: A Beginner’s Guide to Not Hating Work, a new career advice book based on the early sages of the genre but with a modern twist, and is featured in this issue (page 46).

In the end, I decided to retain my contact information and let my network grow in its haphazard way—even if it benefits the members of that herd of new grads—but to continue networking the old-fashioned way, too, over coffee and lunch.

Shelly Fling may be reached at fling003@umn.edu.