Expectations
The outline of the roles and responsibilities will help the both mentors and students understand what the expectations are before you make a commitment. You are encouraged to call the program contact person in your particular mentor program with questions or concerns. Many mentors and students feel guilty if they think they are not spending enough time on the relationship. It is true that if the pair is not meeting, there is no mentoring going on, but successful mentoring is occurring if the pairs communicate by phone or e-mail once every two weeks and meet in person at least once a month.
If you determine your meeting and contact times at the initial meeting, you will get started early and make it easy for both of you to make the commitment. Take scheduled meeting times seriously. If one person is running late or needs to reschedule, he or she should call the other person as early as possible. Be willing to be flexible. Things do come up and meetings may need to be rescheduled. Please use the "Time Demand Survey" and the "Goal Setting Worksheet" as tools to establish roles and responsibilities.
Documented Scenarios
Even with good processes in place, unexpected challenges may arise. Grievances, personality clashes, crossed signals, and communication problems may occur. In these situations, it is important to remain neutral and to contact the program coordinator who will listen and help in any way possible. A number of existing mentor programs have documented scenarios and proposed remedies to those situations. Here are a few accounts:
A poor match
If after four weeks the pair has not been able to establish a good relationship, ask for a rematch.
Initiating meetings
If a member of the pair does not attend the initial meeting, sometimes it is difficult to get the relationship rolling. The pair is not always sure who is supposed to take the initiative. The Alumni Association encourages the students to make the initial contact and arrange the first meeting. Feel free to ask your mentor program coordinator regarding who is expected to make the initial contact.
Selecting a meeting place
Many of the mentor pairs are matched based on career interests. It is recommended that the pairs meet at the mentor's place of employment, on campus, or at a local coffee shop. Student's may be uncomfortable being invited to the mentor's home. Agree to a mutually comfortable and convenient location.
Student is not interested in mentor's career
This is very common. The student and the mentor need to be aware that career matches may not be ideal. The mentor is still able to serve as a resource by offering advice on resume writing, interviewing techniques, networking skills, etc. The mentor may also be able to introduce the student to a person who is in the field the student is interested in pursuing.
Ending the relationship
Most mentoring relationships eventually come to an end. It is important that the pairs realize this and are prepared for it. The end of the official mentor program does not necessarily mean the end of the mentor relationship. This is not usually where it ends. Over time, the pairs naturally move on. The student may graduate and become busy adjusting to a new life. The mentor may relocate. The relationship naturally dissolves--or it may not.
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